but to get back to the subject. once i stopped coding and gave up on everything i had build until now. a LOT of people came to me asking me why i would do such a thing ? they asked me "why would you stop coding ? you are so amazing at it" some called me the smartest person they knew. a few people told me that i have an amazing future in coding and if i really want to give up on it. i think about that a lot. almost every morning. how no one ever told me anything about how they felt about me. all it took is for me to fucking fall off my ladder for people to tell me how far up i had climbed. i wonder why.
i'm sorry if my post feel kind of spammy right now. i keep thinking about this stuff and writting blogpost about them helps me get them out of my head. and if i don't get those ideas out they are going to drive me actually insane